When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren,
Women and Beauty

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Where have I been???

So...WOW! Its been a while since I have updated. I apologize for that but I have been extremely busy with work, moving arrangements and chasing after a crawling...yes crawling 10 month old. Yeah...10 months! Not sure where the time went but my baby no longer looks like a baby. She is growing into a little woman quickly!

I would have posted earlier, but finally got my internet up and running.

Saturday marks the two week mark of living in our new home. Sophia loves it...I think. It's so hard to tell if she is being affected by the massive change but she is still the happiest baby as always. She has a bigger room than her first nursery and while is is still empty other than a dresser, an armoire and pack n' play, I have big things planned for yet another custom designed nursery.

The house is so charming and perfect for us. It's a 3 bedroom one bath in downtown Chico. Some highlights are the front porch, the remodeled kitchen and of course the old clawfoot bathtub. Built in the 1920's it has amazing custom woodwork and it has so much potential to truly make it my own. Luckily my landlord is a friend of mine so I can really make it my own in terms of painting, interior design, etc.

A huge milestone happened the first night we slept in our new home. We spent the night in pure peace. We had no tv (donated the heavy thing to the Salvation Army) or internet and spent the evening on the floor with pillows and blankets. As Lily, Sophia and I were on the floor playing, Sophia pulled herself up to standing for the first time. While I was ecstatic, and feverishly grabbed my phone to snap a photo to send Christopher, I couldn't help but fight back the bittersweet tears. Christopher and I are now officially living separately and I was saddened because he wasn't there to share it with me. Just another reality check that I won't always be there for every milestone going forward. I may miss her first step or her first word and the thought brings pain to my heart but I must stay strong.

Tonight is the 2nd Wednesday night without my sweet baby and it has been a little easier than the first. My first full weekend and 48 hour period without her came last weekend and each night I cried myself to sleep, again something that will ease in time.

A bottle of zin has been my companion this evening. This week has been incredibly long already. With the move, stress at work, the ongoing battle about custody and support with Christopher and I, to top it all off...Lily went missing for most of Monday !

She somehow escaped through the side gate which was slightly ajar. It happened on my mom's watch while I was at work. I was an emotional wreck. Chris came home from work and while my mom paced Bidwell Park with Sophia in search of her, Chris made flyers to post. I came home for a 3 hour lunch break to hang signs, contact my groomer, animal control, my vet and the humane society. The day came and went and no sign of Lily. When I came home, and there was still no word via phone or email, I broke down again in the backyard. Fearful I would never see her again, my mom and I just cried together, She was my first baby and irreplaceable in my eyes. My mom brought me my cell in the midst of my tears and luckily the best news all day came through a voicemail....Lily was safe and sound!!! A sweet girl named Rosie Keen was running in Bidwell Park when Lily began following her. She followed her all the way back to her house, running past our house on the way (which I can now laugh at). She luckily kept her all day and when her parents arrived home, her dad recommended her going door to door to find her rightful owners. Luckily two doors down we had posted a flyer earlier. They found it, called my cell and the rest is history. I was still crying when I went to pick her up and they couldn't stop talking about what a great dog she was. The Keen family is incredibly sweet and as a thank you I got them a $50 gift card from my store. We are now once again a big happy family and I wouldn't have it any other way. While my mom is now fearful of letting Lily outside, she will one day regain her freedom.

Alright, I think that's enough catching up for now. Going to watch a movie, have another glass of vino and give myself a long overdue facial. I get my girl back tomorrow morning and will post recent pics of her then.

Sweet dreams everyone!